“If you don't learn to love others for who they are, why expect others to love you for who you are?”
I once asked someone, "How are you?"
And she said, "I love myself for who I am."
Then I asked, "Does it mean you won't love yourself for who you'll be?"
She said "... ... ..."
Many times, we're only sensitive to how we want to be treated. We want the perfect friends, the perfect family, the perfect situations, how we are supposed to be talked to or approached, and the perfect relationships. At such times, you often hear people say, “I want someone who can love me for who I am.” Really, who are you?
I am beautiful; I speak outright when I'm offended; I am a man of my word; I am... I am… I am… Who said that's who you are?
Why do we get stuck with who we were instead of who we want to be? Because who you are today is a result of the words you said or did not say, the investments you made, and the kind of person you planned to be yesterday, whether or not you made any effort to improve.
Many of the people I've spoken with who have given me such responses are those who want more in life but haven't done enough to get it.
The mind, emotions, and spiritual perception all play important roles.
When you meet someone, learn to see them for who you want them to be and not just for who they are, because who they are is subject to improvement or degradation due to relationships, knowledge, society, media, or “experiences.” Do you realise you could be the first new experience they've ever had? You can't see someone better for who they are and who they could be if you haven’t learned to see yourself that way. Learn to see as God sees you and others. See with the eyes of an artist; no mistakes because everything gets creative when you see yourself and others creatively. Tell yourself, “There are no mistakes in this fine specimen of a boy or girl, man, or woman.” Guess what? Tomorrow, that person you felt wasn't up to your standards might become admirable with great qualities. Or don't you think something could happen to you in the next 24 hours? True, because you believe it will take time to become one. So, give yourself the time to grow, become emotionally intelligent, become smarter, become richer, and become self-controlled. Likewise, you should give others the same credit; the opportunity to grow with time.
Guess what? It's about time I told you that time has always been and will always be constant. The only thing that’s been mobile is you.
When people say, "Time is going," Really? Is it really TIME that's going, or “Are you the one going?” Time is a unit of measurement for progress. Time has always been constant, but your age has kept increasing. You have aged over time.
Let me put it this way: Haven't you noticed that when you're late to catch up with the bus at the bus stop, who runs to meet up with the bus?
When a class, interview, or review meeting is scheduled for 12 o'clock, who ensures you have to be there on time?
When you know a store closes at 10 p.m., who runs to meet up?
I believe the answer to those questions would be "YOU"
You see, 2023 brings nothing; you traveled to meet the year.
Let me burst another bubble.
When you clocked 18 years, 20, 25, or 30 years, I guess you experienced something dramatic in your life. Yeah...? No, Nothing happened. When you crossed over into the new year 2023, or a new age, did a new thing happen in your life? Nah.
The same person you were with the same resources, with the same emotions, and with tantrums at 23:58 on December 31, 2022, was the same person you were at 00:02 on January 1, 2023.
“Nothing changes if you don't change!”
Time is a measurement of progress, either yours or others.
If a lecture is scheduled from 3pm to 5 p.m. and the lecturer waits for you to arrive, they are delaying the learning for others who may need to leave early to catch the last train at 5 p.m. When you delay improving yourself or doing something early, you delay taking advantage of the opportunities that you should meet at a particular TIME in your life; the opportunities for resources, finances, relationships, work, family, etc. You can apply this to every area of your life. The list goes on and on.
You don’t attract what you want, you attract what/who you are. If you know you need to be somewhere in 5 minutes and it's a 10-minute drive, you won't be able to get there in 5 minutes if you don't leave earlier. Just because you want a particular level of income, if you don’t invest in yourself, improve your mindset, or do the work to attract that kind of income, you’ll remain at your current level.
Let me disrupt another school of thought: those who say, "Opportunities come but once." Opportunity, like time, is constant, and it doesn’t only come once. There are different kinds of opportunities: daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, and once a decade, even once a lifetime. You have to always be ready to meet up with such opportunities. In another article, I'll explain this in detail and tell you how to prepare for opportunities. But for now, focus on these three things this year.
PURPOSE - What's your purpose in these 5 areas; Personal, Professional, Financial, Career, and Spiritual
GOALS - What are your goals in these 5 areas; Personal, Professional, Financial, Career, and Spiritual
ACTION - What necessary actions will you take in these 5 areas; Personal, Professional, Financial, Career, and Spiritual
Just like my mentor, Pastor Chris Oyakhilome, D.Sc., D.D., would say, "The year brings nothing new to you; you're the one who brings something into the year."
So, next time you want to think like you used to, PAUSE and think, "It's true I love myself for who I am today, but I also would love myself for who I'll be."
Don't limit yourself to what or who you are now. You were not born this way. To make deliberate progress in your life, you have to love yourself enough to become somebody more and improve your character, your charisma, and your emotions. Become more humble. Seek to get better. Live your life to the fullest now. Try something or someone new. Get all the skills you can now.
So by the next time you meet someone new, whether romantically or in whatever kind of relationship, they'll not only love you for who you are but who you will be, because who you will be next week, next month, and next year is who you plan to be now.
And the next "time an opportunity" comes your way in 2023, whether financially, spiritually, or professionally, that moment will find you waiting at the bus stop.
Let me end with this quote: "Each day we wake up, we have equal opportunities; just make sure you're the most prepared."
Cheers Mate, I Care
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